Yellowstone National Park. If you’re into nature and you go to a place like that, you’re ruined. That’s it. You’re ruined. Almost nothing else is the same. And I mean really go to Yellowstone, too. Not just taking the beaten path that every tourist and their retarded kids take to spend a day in the park so they can tell their easily impressed friends and co-workers that they saw Yellowstone. I mean a few miles down a trail hardly traveled. The places 95% of the people fail to see. That Yellowstone. When you see that Yellowstone, the state park located 45 minutes from your house might as well be the shade tree in the middle of town where homeless people go to shit. It can’t even hope to compare.

Yellowstone is a giant dick. Not an asshole. I’m talking male genitalia. A massive, pulsating, hard-on, fired up with a natural testosterone high and two or three Viagra to boot. Pretend you’re a girl who has been fucking guys working with 5 or 6 inches her whole life. Eventually, if you’re not too quick to ruin your life and get married, you’re gonna fuck a guy with a Yellowstone. A fat, 10-inch monster cock that you can barely fit in your mouth, never mind a full on, past-the-tonsils deep throat. Once you’ve had that, you’re ruined. Just ruined. Now you’ve got a big, loose, crater-like vagina, and everything you’ve had before is like a train headed down a tunnel: that train might go in hard and fast, doing its best to make you happy and get you there on time, but that thing is on a track… if it can’t hit the walls to do any damage and fuck some shit up on the way, then what’s the point?

Ah, yes. The wonders of Yellowstone.